7 Things Your Mom Warned You Against That You Now Do With Reckless Abandon
Sorry, mom!
Disregarding everything our parents said was a typical part of our awkward adolescence. But while ignoring your parents as a teen makes you bratty, doing so as a 20-something means you're living your life. Think about it: The millennial lifestyle basically requires a complete indifference toward the lessons we were taught growing up. Technology and the constant need for accessibility have turned formerly unsafe situations into casual activities, making our moms lose sleep over us now more than ever before. Here are seven life lessons from our parents that millennials probably won't pass on to their kids.
1. "Don't talk to strangers!"
How do our mothers expect us to ever get married and give them grandchildren if we're not supposed to respond to late night Tinder messages?! We're probably risking our lives every single time we meet up for drinks with yet another mirror-selfie dud who only sends "You up?" texts, but talking to strangers is literally the only way we stand a chance of meeting anyone.
2. "Never get into a car with a strange man!"
It used to be that getting in cars with strangers was a big no-no. Now, we're encouraged to get in an Uber in less than three minutes. Throw some clothes on and run out the door because your Uber is arriving now. Toupee Tom, in the gray Hyundai Elantra who offers you hand sanitizer and candy the moment you get into the car, will surely be able to get us from point A to point B without incident. It's fine.
3. "Never open suspicious packages!"
Never knowing what's going to be inside our subscription boxes is deliciously suspenseful. It's like a gift we bought ourselves and then forgot about—which happens a lot. And that's why we open every box that's left on our doorsteps. Sure, it could be anthrax, but it could also be that pair of sandals we ordered off Amazon after too many glasses of wine.
4. "Speak in complete sentences! How is anyone supposed to understand you?!"
Here's my last tweet. Sorry bout it.
5. "Keep your hands to yourself."
Adult friendships are complicated. We all have the bestie we've known since infancy or the crew we got way too close with way too fast. We've definitely pantsed one another, we may have physically fought (once) and we see nothing wrong with getting in a quick boob grab for the sake of a joke. We know each other entirely too well so "keeping our hands to ourselves" just isn't going to happen.
6. "If you don't stop making that face, it's going to get stuck like that."
Whether it's in response to a catcaller or yet another call from our loan servicer, a look of disdain probably crosses our face more than once a day. The stressful life of a 20-something calls for this relatively often, which is probably why most of us are now blessed with resting bitch face.
7. "Always get everything in writing."
Our moms always told us to make sure we don't get mixed up into any shady agreements. However, we wouldn't have half of our furniture if it weren't for the wonders of Craigslist. We've all met some seemingly sketchy dude from CL who promised he'd bring his van around to drop off his gently used entertainment center for a quarter of what it's worth. Whether or not he came through with his promise (or didn't show up with a hatchet to chop us up into little pieces) depends on your specific scenario.